Won’t Get Swyped

by Nola

My husband was ever so excited to show me the latest app for his new-fangled smart phone: Swype.  The idea is that you no longer TYPE on that ever so annoying virtual keyboard.  No, now we humans don’t even need the dexterity of our fingers to send a text, an email or even to tweet.  Now all one needs to do is move his finger around on the keyboard and HIT all of the keys in the general order they appear in the word.  No more of that annoying LIFTING OF A FINGER.

Folks, this takes the virtual cake.  I’ve always had a healthy appreciation for the smart phone being smarter than me.  But NOW I have to be insulted by the smart phone thinking itself SO SMART that it knows we humans are the epitome of lazy?  Well, here’s where I take a stand.  I WILL NOT succumb to this non-typing swyping.  I WILL NOT take the first step to the bidding adieu of the QWERTY keyboard.  I mean, QWERTY was invented to increase the typing speed of humans.  Now that we are no longer typing, that pesky QWERTY nonsense will be as obsolete as Liquid Paper in no time.  There is order in this Universe and this Swype app is a small step down a slippery slope to undo all that order.

Well, I for one want my daughter to learn to type and not just SLIDE HER FINGER AROUND ON A KEYBOARD LIKE IT’S A FANCY MAGNADOODLE.  Bad enough she’ll really never appreciate what “phones with cords” are all about.  But now I have to suffer the indignity of a keyboard used NOT TO TYPE?

I won’t be a part of it. No way. No how.

Good day.

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